Camp Half Blood's Funniest Home Videos
by Fluffybunny1
Summary: In this screwed up parody to AFV, our bunny-obsessed host must work with a seaweed-brained idiot, a 13-year-old emo who thinks he's a ninja, and an architectural geek who isn't afraid to use her vicious bronze dagger.  Life could be worse.
1. Episode 1: The Arrow of Death

**Hey, guys! Now that I've finished the Son of Neptune, I've decided to start on something new. Que the dramatic music... ahem! AHEM!**

*silence*

**Ah, well. I guess I better get started with the show- No! Nico! You're not a ninja! Stop-**

*CLANG!*

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><p><strong><span>Backstage<span>  
><strong>**Time until air: 5 minutes**

Fluffybunny1: Places, everyone, places! No, Nico! Stop playing with the speakers! You've already knocked them down once! ***sees you looking*** Oh, hi! I'm Fluffybunny1, but I will be referred to as "Fluffy", simply because I am too lazy to type out the rest of my pen name. Oh! It's time already? Nico! GET THE MUSIC!

***silence***

Fluffy: NICO! THE MUSIC!

***silence***

Fluffy: ***sighs*** Must I have to do everything my-

DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH- DADADADADA DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAH- DADA DAH DAH DAH DAH!

Annabeth: Um... Fluffy? This is Jeopardy music.

Fluffy: Your point?

Annabeth: ***facepalms*** I'm surrounded by idiots.

Fluffy: Percy! Open the curtain!

Percy: ***tugs on the string*** It won't open!

Annabeth: Wrong string, Seaweed Brain!

Percy: Oh.** *pulls on the right string***

***the curtains swish open, and Fluffy walks out onto the stage***

Fluffy: Hello, and welcome to the very first episode of Camp Half-Blood's Funniest Home Videos!

***the audience cheers***

***the cheers die down, and Fluffy continues***

Fluffy: To start off, we'll pick from one of three camp activities.

***Percy pushes in a screen with three buttons that read: "Sword Fighting", "Archery", and "Camp Forge"***

Fluffy: Whoever catches this arrow ***points to the arrow Annabeth is holding* **gets to choose which category to watch first.

***Annabeth notches the arrow in a bow and shoots it over the audience. Hands reach up to try and grab it, and one tears the feathers off the back. The arrow turns around the wrong way, slams into the door handle, and flies into the air, back towards the stage. It spears Nico in the butt while he is fooling around with the CD track***

Nico: Ow! ***yanks the arrow out of his butt* **Don't hit me with it! Shoot it at Percy instead!

Fluffy: I'd love to, but since it hit you, you get to choose the category! So come on out here and show everyone the big hole in your pants!

Nico: ***blushes furiously* **Shut up, Fluffy! I don't have to do the music for you!

Fluffy: You'll do as I like. Now hurry up and choose something, or I'll have Annabeth shoot another arrow at you, in a much more painful place.

Nico: ***gulps*** Fine. Sword fighting.

***Fluffy presses the button on the screen, and a video begins to play***

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><p>The whole Ares cabin is fighting at the arena, but the camera zooms in on Clarisse and another girl from the Ares cabin. Clarisse raises her electric spear, Maimer, over her head, and the video freezes.<p>

* * *

><p>Fluffy: As you can see here, one of three things is going to happen. A: Clarisse's cabin mate gets shish-ke-bobbed. B: Clarisse hits someone else. C: Clarisse hits herself. The arrow, please, Annabeth!<p>

***Annabeth shoots another arrow over the crowd, but once again, the feathers fly off in a tangle of hands and the arrow ricochets off the door handle. Only this time, it hits Percy in the spot where it _hurts_***

Fluffy: ***rushes over to him* **Congratulations! Please choose what you think is going to happen.

Percy: Ow... ***falls over onto the stage, face first***

Fluffy: Oops! Er, Annabeth, remove the arrow please.

Annabeth: What? No! You do it!

Fluffy: No way! 'Cause I've got a better idea. ***calls loudly*** Nico! Take Percy to the hospital, please!

Annabeth: The _hospital? _Why would you take him to the hospital?

Fluffy: Just... never mind. Let's just move on. ***turns back to the audience* **Since we've had problems with shooting arrows, we're going to move on to sword throwing! Nico! Get out here!

***silence***

Fluffy: Nico, if you come out, you'll get to throw your sword out over the audience!

***Nico rushes in from off stage, charging to the edge of it***

Nico: NINJA! ***hurls his sword out over the crowd***

***the sword slices through the air, and the whole crowd ducks, all except a little boy at the back. He reaches for the sword, and it spears him in the stomach***

Fluffy: You right there, sir, come right up!

***the boy turns pale, then falls to the ground***

Fluffy: Um... okay then! Let's just play the video! ***presses the play button on the screen***

* * *

><p>As Clarisse brings her spear up over her head, a fat kid grabs it and throws it into the air. It comes back down and stabs him in the stomach, frying him to ashes.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>*silence*<strong>

Fluffy: Ooh-kay! Let's move on. Next video!

* * *

><p>Two Hermes kids are dueling at the arena. One stabs downward with his sword but misses his opponent, hitting himself in the spot where it <em>really<em> hurts.

* * *

><p><strong>*the audience bursts into laughter as everyone looks at Percy, still flat on the ground and not even making an effort to remove the arrow*<strong>

Fluffy: ***quite pleased* **Let's move on to archery.

***Fluffy presses the button on the screen, and it shows a video of a boy down on one knee about 10 yards away from a target, a bow perched against his leg***

Fluffy: Let's play "Where does it land?"

* * *

><p>The boy pulls back on the bowstring, but just as he shoots the arrow, two campers engaged in a duel fly past, and the arrow bounces off of one's shield. It flies into the air, towards the volleyball court. A girl whacks the volleyball over the net, and it hits the arrow, sending it over the stables, where it hits the wing of a flying pegasus and falls towards the arena. A girl whacks it into the air with the flat of her sword, and it flies up towards the climbing wall. Bouncing off the side of it, the arrow shoots through the open door of the Aphrodite cabin, ricochets off a bottle of perfume, and whistles through the bathroom door just as a girl closes it behind her. Bouncing off the lever and flushing the toilet, the arrow flies into a button in the shower, and a stream of water sends it down the drain, into the sewer. As chemicals are injected into the water, the arrow slices through a filter and shoots up a narrow tube, knocking the top off a garden sprinkler and flying over the strawberry fields. Hitting the moving wheel of Chiron's motorized wheelchair, it flies towards the basketball court, ricochets off the backboard of the far hoop, and slices back through the air. It pierces the very center of the target it was supposed to have hit, where it sticks, a perfect bullseye. Shocked, the boy drops his bow, and a dueling camper kicks it into the air, where a pegasus catches it in his mouth and flies away.<p>

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><p><strong>*the audience claps and cheers as the video ends*<strong>

Fluffy: Unfortunately, we're almost out of time, so it looks like "Camp Forge" will have to wait until next episode. For now, let's take a look at some of our honorable mentions.

***the screen changes to show several clips of campers doing stupid things, sitting on arrows and hurting themselves in many painful, humiliating ways. It even shows Percy blowing up the toilet water in Clarisse's face***

***then the videos stop, and Annabeth wheels the screen out, careful to walk right over Percy***

Fluffy: Well, that's all the time we have for today! Good-bye, and I'll see you next time on Camp Half-Blood's Funniest Home Videos! Good night, everybody!

***the curtains swish shut, and the audience stands up to go as the lights flicker off***

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><p><strong>Okay, listen up, people! I need some ideas that would make really funny camp videos, because I've already started to run out of creativity. If you have any ideas, just tell me them in a review, and if I like them, then I'll use them in this story as a video sent in by (author's name). Also, I need some ideas involving funny videos at the camp forge. So please, PLEASE, if you have <em>any<em> ideas that would make hilarious videos, tell me, and I will be sure to include them.**

**Also, I am leaving for camp on Sunday and will be completely unable to update for a week, as the camp has no access to computers. So don't send me a PM saying, "Why haven't you updated for a whole week?" because I just told you the answer to that question ^above^**

**So anyways, I'm going to stop my demented rambling right here. But you - and I mean YOU! - better review- No! NICO! DON'T-**

*CRASH*

*sighs* **I'm surrounded by idiots.**

**Annabeth: You're not the only one.**


	2. On Hold!

**Well, it turns out I was actually going to be at camp 2 weeks instead of just one, so, yeah, sorry about that. I've decided I need a little break from writing, so I'm putting this story on hold temporarily. However, I could still use more ideas for videos. I'm planning on typing up a few chapters ahead of time so I'm not always rushing to finish them all at once.**

**So, anyways, sorry to keep you waiting but I just need a little rest. I haven't been feeling very creative lately, which will likely equal one crazy chapter.**

**~Fluffybunny1~**


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